Blue Days - Needing a Sabbath?

Do you ever have a day where you just feel "blue"? Some would, and maybe it is, call it depression. But today I just feel tired and run down. My weekend was very busy with getting school work done, laundry, preparing for teaching on Sunday, reviewing documents for Sunday, shopping for pet food, having coffee with a dear friend, and a few other household duties. I did not sit down till 8:00 that evening. Sunday kept me busy with teaching Inside Track class, cooked dinner for a friend who just went through surgery and spending time with them. I got home around 8:00 and was ready for bed. Friday night was a night of Mah Jongg with some friends from work - had a great time but got home at 1:00 am!

When I think about this past weekend, I wouldn't change a thing about what I did. I enjoyed ever bit of my time with friends and getting some necessary things done around the house. But, I also think God wants me to find a sabbath time as well. I do not think I have taken time for a sabbath for a couple weeks. My body and mind are telling me I need rest. God intended for us to rest - He wants me to take the time to do just that. But it has to be something I intentionally give to myself. I think it's about time I did that.

Screwtape Letters Play - Just For Fun?

Yesterday I attended a play that was taken from the book Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Now I did not come out of the play with anything truly profound. I was entertained and enjoyed it! I had hopes of coming out of the play with some enlightening thought - but I didn't. So I realized then that maybe...just maybe...this time at the play was suppose to be just something fun to enjoy. Maybe I needed a day for just enjoying being with a friend, being entertained, resting the brain and relaxing and not for finding some deep lesson for me to learn. Could this be possible? Can you tell I am still pondering that thought? Am I still looking for some deep lesson to be learned about yesterday?

It Takes Community

Yesterday, I spent the day at a hospital with a friend of mine who's husband was having surgery. Do you know how many people it takes to prepare someone for surgery, do the surgery, post-operative care and then for rehabilitation after surgery? Think about it - an admitting clerk signed him in, someone else walked him to the surgery center; another one ID'd him and confirmed his identity; a nurse prepped him with IVs medications, etc; an anesthesiologist conversed with him; a pharmacist prepared the IV medications; someone to wheel him to the OR; then in the OR a nurse, physician, resident physician, anesthesiologist, OR tech and let alone the number of people who prepared and sterilized all the equipment; then to recovery room with recovery nurses and the list could keep on going. What an amazing number of people (12-15 so far on this list alone) it took to care for someone who needed healing.

I believe this is a picture of how many people it takes in my faith community to assist me in the healing process for any of my brokenness or for any one's brokenness. It is not just one person who can do it - it is a community of people committed to the process of healing.

Do I as a broken person allow this many people to help me be healed? Not very often.

Or do I, as a person who is a part of the process of someone else's healing willing to make the intentional commitment to be a part of the puzzle that brings wholeness? Sometimes

The bottom line is - healing from our woundedness was not meant to be lived like a game of solitaire. It is meant to be a process with a team of people; practicing and playing and actively involved in the game! And sometimes, it takes more commitment to someone's healing than I am willing to give. God...help me to be totally sold out for others above myself.

Let Us Praise

Psalm 150:
Praise the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.

Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.

Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre,

praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute

praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals.

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.

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Praise Him today for His everlasting kindness and mercy; praise Him for His unfailing love!

Let this be a day of praise!

Kristine

Confessions of a Worry Wart

I remember during my childhood, my sister saying frequently to me "you're such a worry wart!" I never did like hearing this from her and yet, she was telling me the truth. And sometimes, the truth is painful to hear.

Yesterday was a day where I found myself worrying about many things. The scripture tells us in Matthew 6 "not to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of it self." I memorized that verse, and the verse before it many years ago and had forgotten about it while I was allowing worry to take a hold of my mind. The verse just before the issue of worry says to "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you." Finally, after a day of worry, I confessed to a friend of mine that I was worried about many things - deadlines at the office, writing a 100 point paper for school by this weekend, everything going on I committed to this coming Sunday, etc. After this confession, I was reminded of God's instructions that I am not to worry about tomorrow.

In Proverbs 12.25, it says worry will wear a heart down. It certainly had done that to me and I allowed it to continue through the day yesterday.

Confession is a wonderful thing. Especially when I verbalize it out loud to God or to another person. It breaks the stronghold of what God calls sin in my life. So I gave my worry up last night after I confessed. Now today, it will take care of itself. I pray Lord, you would remind me of the verse on worry today and keep my mind and heart focused on You. Take care of the day for me.

This is my prayer and this is my plea!

Welcoming Correction

Last night at the SmallGroup.LIFE meeting, Evie shared a devotion from the book of Proverbs (unfortunately, I do not remember the chapter in Proverbs). The devotion was on welcoming correction into our lives. In Proverbs 13:18, we read:

"He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored.

From this verse, God honors us when we listen to people who speak into our lives to share with us where we need to change. I had a picture of being in a home. I anticipate a friend coming and I hear a knock at the front door. With anticipation, I go to the door and welcome the person in and give them an embrace. Come in to my home and let's enjoy time together!! I wonder if I get this excited about correction? Do I welcome correction with anticipation and embrace it? Do I say to people who are correcting me "come into my home and let's enjoy time together"? The answer to that question is NO!

Colossians chapter 3 says:

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

God, I no longer live but you live in me. Help me to welcome with joy correction - and may it change my heart and mind to be more like You.

This is my prayer and my plea.

I-270 and Prayer

I have the wonderful thrill of driving I-270 southbound from Frederick every weekday morning. During my morning commute, I will often contemplate or be praying for issues or people. Today I prayed for some friends who have been through a difficult time recently with major surgery. God has brought him through the surgery but it is mending time now and it can take time. I pray for continued recovery and also strength to continue the process of healing. It can take time!!

My other thoughts this morning were about my desire to have a woman mentor in ministry. Someone who has started a ministry before that I can share my heart with. I started meeting with a woman, but her life seems busy and we have not had the opportunity to meet much. Our last meeting was cancelled for good reasons - but I find myself wanting more than she has time for. As I prayed for this in my life...I wondered how God was going to fulfill that desire. I will wait and see.

What will today bring here at work?

How Do I Begin?

I've never been a blogger before. But I want to be able to journal my life since there is so much going on. Today I started this blog. It was a day of finding how difficult sometimes relationships can be. Misunderstandings...not being honest...wondering if I matter to anyone. Relationships are what I enjoy and they are also my greatest heart ache and failure. I wonder sometimes if God designed me to struggle in relationships so my sin can be found. It is then I can learn about my own woundedness and hopefully find healing.

Relationships are often messy!